hiding out

via Daily Prompt: Hideout

Bee’s gone back to the US for the next month or so. J’s over there too for a few weeks (for unrelated reasons). There’s just me and Leaf in our house now, and with them gone and TJ-kitty no longer around, it feels so quiet and weird and wrong. And I’m still sick and my shoulder hurts and everything right now seems really overwhelming. Visa applications make my head hurt. Doing all the things I need to do seems like an impossible, Sisyphus-level task.

So I bought more games on Steam than I could really afford, and I’m hiding out playing them obsessively and watching Frozen Planet and petting our remaining cats. If I could reasonably build a blanket fort and hide in it, I would. Fuck this, I don’t want to be an adult right now. I’ll start again tomorrow.

ugh

You know that thing where you’re just so tired, and you just don’t feel right, and whatever you try to do you don’t really have the attention span for it because you’re so fucking tired, and you can’t focus on even things you usually enjoy, so you’re desperately looking for something to do that’s both interesting enough to distract you from feeling shitty but somehow simple enough not to feel like any effort, but you can’t find this mythical Thing because it probably doesn’t exist?

Yeah, I’m having one of those days.